Happy Hug a Heretic Sunday!

Would you believe it is once again the eve of Simchat Torah? Now, if there's one Jewish holiday I have a personal vendetta against, it's Simchat Torah. Even as a believer I really couldn't see the point. If there was ever a time the men in the Orthodox community had an opportunity to be openly elitist and misogynistic this holiday is surely one of those times.

I don't care to sit for hours and hours in a synagogue, squashed in amongst hundreds of women I don't even know or like, watching the guys in the (obviously) much larger mens' section dancing in a circle and becoming increasingly more inebriated and incoherent with every hakofa. I don't care. That's all this post really boils down to. My complete lack of interest and enthusiasm for your sexist rituals.

It takes a very specific type of woman or girl to be inspired by this sort of mind-numbing spectation. I'm pretty certain that most woman who do attend the hakafos are extremely bored, but they have become so used to masking their lack of enthusiasm over the years, that they do a superb job of it.

In some communities however, the girls are fighting back. No longer content to be upstaged by the antics in the mens' section, they are determined to be noticed and will done all the makeup and designer wear they have to to get the job done. So he's dancing with a £23k torah in a semi altered state of conciousness. Hello? these are Jimmy Choos. Show them some respect and tell me you love 'em.

Last year a bunch of girlfriends invited me to a simchat Torah party in St John's Wood Synagogue. Oh my Darwin, what a shocker that was. I'm very new to the St John's wood scene. in fact I'm so new, I can't even say I've ever been properly introduced. That's cool, I don't want to be introduced. I am not a lover of wealthy, stylistic, elitist, entitled Jews and never will be. I tried dating a wealthy guy like that once. It wasn't good.

So I go along to this party and as I say, it was quite the experience. The length and sparkle factor of the stilettos alone was enough  to make me want to bolt for the door. But there was more; the skinny, emaciated little bodies, poured into the tiny one strap dresses, usually with a big flower of some sort affixed to the shoulder and hair teased, curled and piled up high on their heads, or falling in impossibly shiny and sleek cascades down their slender shoulders.

I did stay and even tried to make conversation, but this proved to be an impossible task. Although there where hundreds of people in the function hall, folks tended to stick tightly to each other in cliques and looked at you with confusion, alarm and even mild disgust if you attempted to approach their circle and chime into the conversation. Like most Jew dos really.

My fellah offered to take me there tonight, but I'm fairly certain I will be refusing. I'd much rather order in a Chinese, watch Come Dine With Me and feel pretty damn content in my bare feet, unpainted face and soft as fuck pyjamas.

Thank you.

Welcome Aboard

Shalom! Welcome to my little blog. I've set up this page with the hopes that other Jewish doubters, freethinkers, non-believers, sceptics and heretics alike will find a safe place to think, discuss and perhaps find a little understanding and solidarity amongst people of the same mindset.

If you are a believer,  on the fence, or simply wish to read, lurk and occasionally contribute, feel free! I hope you will join in the conversation from time to time, as all opinions and questions are welcome. I will, however, monitor any rude or insulting posts.

My main intention is to provide a community of sorts for people who have found themselves having to leave their own families and/or communities because they could no longer believe in, or keep up with pretence of believing in the indoctrination expected of them. To all those people: this blog was created for you (and myself).

I hope to share with you my personal experience of leaving the fold and also of my day to day life as someone who is very much involved in the Jewish community, but no longer a believer in the divine, the supernatural, or a deity who keeps score of everything I do. A deity who could technically end poverty, cure cancer, feed the millions of children starving in Africa, end all conflict in the Middle East, but instead chooses to watch adolescent girls and boys touch themselves.

You know it makes sense.